The Immigrants Understanding of Culture and Society: None Transferable Skills

The Immigrants Understanding of Culture and Society: None Transferable Skills

You gotta love some people, who develop this delusion of grandeur that they could either assimilate to a new society, country, culture, or learn about a certain culture through dating, living in common-law relationship or intermarriage, with a partner who belongs to such a culture, country or society.

Before, I move forward, please let me be blunt: culture is neither transferable through sex nor being exposed to its traditional cuisine. If anyone is stupid enough to think otherwise, then he/she suffers from serious intellectual disadvantage to being with.

Recently, someone started to lecture me about Iran, Iranian culture and Iranian society. The following is how he was rationalizing his arguments by trying too hard to establish a credibility:

“I lived with Iranian woman for fifteen years. I have been to Iran two times. I have spoken to many Iranians. So I can make my comments of someone who was there. Mohammed Mosadeq do you remember him? He was the true democratic leader in Iran. Until he was exiled or confined to his home. the traffic in Iran is so chaotic, traffic and smog. The old Paycon car is still in effect. the Shah was a weasel he said I’m going to leave rather than see my people killed. but his so called friends were not allowed to house him. He was so full of himself. I know many Iranians who want to go home.  I’m talking highly educated. but are afraid as they didn’t do the national service. Ahhhhh I leave this discussion. I was there a few years ago and I’m taking what I know not what I heard.”

The following is my reply to this individual’s ranting:

“Dating, marrying or living in a common-law relationship with an Iranian woman, and traveling few times to Iran, hardly makes anyone an expert in Iran, Iranian society and politics of Iran, that are required to have, in order to possess the credibility to provide pragmatic operational analysis about Iran, Iranian society, and Iranian people who live in Iran on the ground as is, here and now.

Understanding the society’s structure and its culture, traditions, as well as culture and protocols of trade, are categorically NOT transferable through dating, living in common-law relationship or intermarriage with the natives of such culture who live outside their own countries.

Nobody’s claim that he/she understands Germany, America, Canada or France because he/she has been with a French, German, American or Canadian partner is valid. Therefore, your modes of reasoning is fallacious and hardly adds any credibility to your claims whatsoever.

Secondly, it is important to understand that none of what you have been communicating, so far, has neither anything to do with agreeing nor disagreeing with me, nor anyone else. When your arguments are invalid and fallacious, then either agreeing or disagreeing with someone is relevant. This is because regardless of how much your try, under such circumstances, your arguments will remain fallacious and invalid with the same consistency as the truth that sun rises in the east and sets in the west.

Last but not least, hypothetically speaking, if you would have said that you fluently speak Farsi, and have lived and worked in Iran at the Bazaar among people and done trade, then your credibility would have had some weight to it. But then again, if you would have said that you either worked as an academic at university or in diplomatic capacity in Iran, then your information would have been extremely limited to the .05% of the Iranian society that would have formed your peers and professional network under such circumstances.” 


Throughout the past 25 years, I have witnessed such a phenomenon among the ethnic community members, especially the Iranian diaspora, in the U.S., Canada and Europe, who think that through dating, living in common-law relationship and intermarriage, they could assimilate to the Canadian, Europeans and American society and be accepted as culturally equal by the Caucasian native populations of such Western countries.

I have met many men and women from that of ethnic communities, who don’t love their partners, but only have been dating, living in common-law relationship and married with them. All this is because of such a strategic planning, that majority of times, such individuals themselves are not aware of its existence due to it being part of their subconscious programming – survival of fittest instinct. This is the same common subconscious programming as many women’s desire to marry a rich doctor who is great provider, but they do not necessary love the doctor to begin with.

Unfortunately, such are some of the stupidest strategies of integration and assimilation, that I have ever com across, which tend to lead to conflict between partners, having dysfunctional families and constantly escalating tensions in such households.

However, in Canadian culture and tradition have a different style of courtship:
Within the context of the Canadian culture and society, one might be able to learn English or French if they have a partner who is native English or French speaker. However, this is as far as it goes in terms of integration and assimilation into the Canadian society and culture. The only way to properly integrate and assimilate into Canadian society consist of:

1) first and foremost, one ought to learn the language; and

2) meet people at bars, pubs, coffee shops, concerts, festivals, travel to small town throughout provinces and break bred with Canadians; and

3) work in Canada, do business with the people of this country, learn how to resolve trade and professional conflicts, and understand the culture of trade in Canada; and

4) read the works of Canadian authors, watch the Canadian movies and TV series, observe and learn about the works of Canadian painters and sculptors, and listen to the Canadian composers,

5) learn about our/her neighbours aspirations and what makes them smile and what keeps them awake at nights; and

6) learn to understand the jokes that makes sense to Canadians and a sense of humour that puts a smile on common people’s face in Canada. This is because if one learns how to tell a joke, put to use his/her sense of humour in real time, is someone who truly understands the Canadian people and culture. Being serious, philosophical, miserable and dark is extremely easy, which all you need to do is watch the news then talk about and that establishes your being dark and miserable street cred. So making people smile and being able to make people laugh is the highest rank and honour that a communicator could achieve.

Note- have you paid attention that people who are very rich sometimes tell the stupidest jokes that are not funny, but they surround themselves with people who kiss up to them and laugh at their stupid jokes because they are financially benefiting from them? This is because such humourless wealthy individuals deepest desire is to be liked and they try to purchase being liked by surrounding themselves with the people who lie to them. This is an strategy that flows from the same negative spirit from where the same horrible strategy of attempt to integration through dating, being in common-law relationship and intermarriage flows from. Almost every left-wing and Liberal professors at university, who I have met and interacted, tend to suffer from this complex of this desperate need for someone kissing up to them. There are few exceptions though.

It is after doing all this that one could begin to feel connected to the Spirit of Canada and Canadian people. It is under such circumstances that one could develop a true sense of belonging to this country and feel at home.

One of the most interesting variables to observe about the individuals who imagine that they could assimilate into Canadian society through dating, living in common-law relationships or intermarriage, is that such individuals hardly know anything about their own culture, literature, traditions and language to begin with.

Fro example: if you ask such individuals to explain what “indicative pluperfect’ verb conjuration is in their own native tongue, they would have no clue about it. this is why they would have a hard time learning a new language. Majority of the Iranians community members in Canada have no idea how to conjugate verbs in Farsi to begin with. Then when such individuals start presenting themselves as the elite members of the Iranian society and being community leaders all that sounds really comedic.

Unfortunately, the Iranian society and culture are cast based and not inclusive. this is why the manner by which people speak Farsi, Azeri and the way they behave immediately give away their background, what kind of family they come from and indicates their social status and education. One could even with great accuracy pin point someone who might have few PhDs and be gifted but might not necessary come from governing families of Iran who are influential, even today as we speak in Iran.

Since in North America we live in an inclusive society, that has been influenced by the abolition of cast based society through American revolution and civil war, our Canadian society is more inclusive and is very difficult to really detected one’s status from their manner of speech. However, since Québec remains rather similar to that of cast based society that are witness in Europe, the manner by which people speak French in Canada, similar to that of Iranians, also indicates the social status and background of the individuals.
Going back to the main topic, the individuals who end up dating, living in common-law relationships and marrying with the Caucasian Canadian natives, ending up doing so with the Canadians who have none or very little knowledge about the Canadian history, political structure, English/French literature, arts, society and people.

It is an interesting phenomenon, that I have been observing for over two decades among such Iranian-Canadian community members, that at the end of the day things tend to work out balancing each other. Meaning that the integration of such Iranian-Canadians who use dating, common-law relationship and intermarriage as an assimilation strategy and mechanism, tend to end up getting involved with the Caucasian native Canadians, who are the exact same archetype of individuals as they are, and know very little about this country, its culture, literature, arts, history, political structure and heritage.

At the end of the day, the intelligent grand design and nature tend to correct their own flaws and irregularities and achieve equilibrium. This is the most interesting phenomenon of mother nature that also shapes the social and cultural narratives of human society.

Many immigrants from that of ethnic community, who date, live in common-law relationships and marry with the Caucasian native Canadians, seem to be doing it for the wrong reasons. In most cases the subconscious strategic planning of integration and assimilation of such immigrants from the ethnic community groups drives them without them even being aware of it. In such cases, most relationships between the partners are hardly based on love.

Maybe this is why many of such individuals from that of Iranian-Canadian community fail to understand and recognize what true love and caring relationships are about to begin with. From such human errors, that occur in an immigrant based society, flows a lot of social and family problems that cost us people, society and country dearly.


Warmest Regards,

Joseph Aminian


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